One of the most common questions we hear is: “Do your friends know or is it a secret?”
The short answer? Some do. Some will never know. And some… probably have their suspicions.
We learned very early on that sharing our hotwife lifestyle isn’t just a casual “oh by the way” kind of conversation. It’s not like telling someone you’ve taken up salsa dancing or decided to grow your own tomatoes. People react to this. Sometimes beautifully. Sometimes awkwardly. And sometimes in ways you couldn’t have predicted.
Who We Tell And Why
In the beginning, we told no one. It was our secret, and part of the thrill came from that privacy. Over the years, a very select few have been let in. Usually, it’s because:
- We trust them completely.
- They have an open-minded streak (or at least a healthy curiosity).
- It felt natural in the moment, like keeping it to ourselves would almost be dishonest.
Some of our most meaningful conversations have been with the people we’ve chosen to trust. For us, it’s less about shock value and more about connection. Talking about the lifestyle out loud, with someone outside of just the two of us, can feel like a release. It puts words to something that’s usually kept behind closed doors, and sometimes that’s exactly what we need.
It’s not about proving anything, or confessing. It’s about trust, being able to share a part of our lives that’s too big, too important, to keep entirely bottled up between ourselves.
The Risky Part
For us, the real risk isn’t judgment or awkward reactions, it’s losing the delicious privacy of it all. Once something is shared, it can no longer stay just ours. That’s why only a very select few ever get told.
There’s a thrill in knowing that what happens between us, our nights out, our adventures, the intimate details no one else knows stays locked away. It’s in the secrecy, in the hidden glances and private smiles, that the excitement lingers. Protecting that world, keeping it ours alone, makes every moment feel sharper, more alive, and undeniably intimate.
The Ones Who Might Already Know
Then there’s the fun category: the friends who’ve never been told outright… but might have guessed. There’s something thrilling about these people, the ones who sense it without a single word being spoken. Maybe it’s the sly smile they can’t hide when we slip in a playful, slightly naughty comment, just enough to make them raise an eyebrow. Maybe it’s the subtle tension when we laugh a little too loudly at something that has a double meaning. Or perhaps it’s the way they notice the little hints we leave in conversation, a suggestive glance, a knowing smirk that makes them wonder what else we might be up to when no one else is watching.
Sometimes it’s just intuition. They’ve known us long enough to pick up on little hints: the way we tease each other in conversation, the secret smiles we share across a crowded room, the stories we never fully tell but hint at. It’s a delicate game they might never say it aloud, as if they’re silently piecing together a puzzle only we know exists.
And honestly, we love it. There’s a delicious tension in knowing that someone almost knows, that part of our private world is just out of reach, hanging in the air like a secret waiting to be discovered. It makes ordinary gatherings feel electric, like the possibility of mischief is always just one glance away.
Why We Still Keep Secrets
Even though we’ve told a few, most of the time we choose to stay quiet. Not out of shame, but because the lifestyle is ours, it doesn’t need validation from anyone else.
And honestly? The secrecy is hot. There’s a thrill in sitting at a dinner table, smiling politely, while only we know what happened the night before. A casual touch on my leg under the table, a private glance across the room, and suddenly we’re both replaying scenes no one else would ever imagine.
It’s like living with a delicious, hidden layer. The world sees one version of us, but underneath, we’re carrying around this private adventure that only we share. Sometimes keeping that secret feels almost more intimate than telling it.
In the End
Telling or not telling will always come down to trust and timing. We don’t owe anyone an explanation, but part of living authentically is letting some people see the whole picture.
Sometimes we share. Sometimes we smile and keep the details to ourselves. And sometimes… well, sometimes we let them wonder.